The Neat Freak Boyfriend [HELP!]  
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Post Posted: 2018-12-06 07:07:20  
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I’ve been dating this guy for almost 8 months now. We started off really quick, we would always spend more time at his place because we lived far from each other and he have a house and I have a small apartment with a roommate he doesn’t quite like. It started off nice and peachy, I felt at home at his place. He always referred to it as ‘our home’ and when I would be gone from him he would always text me to ‘come home’.

Few months later he would start getting passive aggressive about things. “Why don’t you buy food/snacks since you’re always here?” “Why don’t you make the bed?” “Why don’t you help out with laundry?”

I must admit I’m not the cleanest fellow, but I want to be. I guess I grew up a bit spoiled because my mother would clean up after myself and my brothers. But I started cleaning up after myself while I’m there. “Why don’t you help out with groceries?” We go splitsies while grocery shopping. “Why don’t you clean up after yourself when you eat?” I wash my dishes and wipe the counter and kitchen table after I eat. We started to have arguments a lot about it that I told him I would stop coming over and he could come to my place instead. He would never come, but I have to drive over to his place to see him.

November comes and my lease is up at my place and the new place my roommate and I want to move to won’t open until December 16. I ask my boyfriend if I can crash at his place for a month. I’m already hesitant about it because our previous fights and how much of a neat freak he is, but it’s either that or be homeless. He agrees. I pay him $250 for the month I’ll be there. I help out with groceries for us. I do laundry, I fold clothes, I make sure I turn on the lights he wants on while he is gone (he is a flight attendant and is usually away 3 days at a time), I take out the trash, fold the blankets the way he likes, etc. etc. etc.

He comes back from a trip and I make sure to buy him dinner, take out the trash and clean up a bit before he gets home. I take a shower and come out and see him and the first thing he says to me is why aren’t the dishes washed? Keep in mind before he left on his trip I asked him if he wanted me to wash the dishes and he said “No. I’ll take care of it later.” He left with the dishes still in the sink. I know he likes the dishwasher set a certain way (cups there, plates there, forks and knives like this…) so I left it for him. He’s mad about it and says “I had a feeling you would have left it, it was a test. I wanted you to surprise me and wash them.” I just got off late from work, got you dinner, haven’t seen you in 3 days and this is the first thing you say to me? I snap.

We get into a argument. I tell him I’m trying but he doesn’t acknowledge the small things I do to be cleaner for him. He says ‘You don’t clean the toilets, you don’t clean the bathtub we use” It just seems like no matter what I do, there will be something else for him to criticise.

It sucks because 1) I’m saying at his place so I feel like I have no choice but to conform for him. And 2) Now that the apartment opening date has been pushed to January 17, I can’t even say at least I only have 10 more days of this.

Am I tripping for thinking his behavior is a deal breaker? Part of me wants to end this relationship because if he’s like this now, how are we going to get a place together in the future? I might push him off a balcony.

Anyone have any advice or thoughts on this? I feel so frustrated and alone. 😣😞

Post Posted: 2018-12-06 14:04:13  
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