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What do you consider being a good friend?  
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Post Posted: 10 days ago 
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I once had this out effeminate bi friend who wanted to audition for a play at our school. He was nervous and wanted me to come and audition as well. The play was Cabaret. I thought it was in the future. He meant right then. You had to audition with a song. I picked something on the spot and went in and auditioned. I feel like if you cannot sing on the spot...you shouldn't bother telling people that you can sing.

So, I did and the casting crew were silent, after. I thought that that was bad, but as I thanked them for their time, they stopped me and asked how I could hold the notes that I did. I said something stupid about having powerful lungs as a joke.

Anyway, when I left the audition room, my friend was acting weird and then went to audition himself.

So, I got an email telling me that I had gotten the part. I didn't mention it to my friend, as I wanted to wait and see if he had gotten a role as well. When he began complaining that he never heard from them and they didn't know talent..I decided to not bring up that I had gotten the part. I passed on the part, as I didn't want to make him feel bad.

Less than a week later...he sided with some people he barely knew over me and I realized that he wasn't a friend.

A real friend wouldn't have been upset that I got the part and they didn't. They would have been supportive and come out to see me opening night.

As more time goes on, I realize that I am way more willing to do for others than they are, for me.

So at this point...if someone wouldn't come bail me out of jail, come see me in the hospital, come help me move...I don't consider them a friend. Someone who if I died, wouldn't rob my corpse and make sure my funeral wasn't a spectacle and make sure my last wishes were honored. Who wouldn't be concerned about getting some of whatever money I had, and actually miss me.

I would do all of those things and more, but not many people deserve that.

I can be a good listener and have been told that I give good advice, but it seems..many people just want a personal cheerleader, instead of an actual friend.

A friend will call you out on your sh!t and be honest when people who don't know you well, would sugar coat it. A friend should want the best for you. A friend would not be jealous of your success, but push you to go even further. Basically someone who feels like family and chooses to be in your life, not because of any biological obligation.

I have one of those and am very grateful.

What qualities do you look for in a friend?




 
Post Posted: 10 days ago 
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I think real friendships develop over time, when you do something extra for someone and you accept their inconveniences when they expect others to push them out of their lives. Over time the person comes to realize you care, are not judging them, and plan to stick around.

To have a friend, essentially it usually is enough to simply be a friend.

 
Post Posted: 10 days ago 
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You should be your own best friend!!!!
 
Post Posted: 10 days ago 
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Post Posted: 10 days ago 
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10 days ago

You should be your own best friend!!!!

That is supposed to be your first stop
 
Post Posted: 9 days ago 
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10 days ago

I think real friendships develop over time, when you do something extra for someone and you accept their inconveniences when they expect others to push them out of their lives. Over time the person comes to realize you care, are not judging them, and plan to stick around.

To have a friend, essentially it usually is enough to simply be a friend.

It sounds nice on paper, but being a friend just makes people think you're the carpet from Aladdin.





 
Post Posted: 9 days ago 
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10 days ago

I think real friendships develop over time, when you do something extra for someone and you accept their inconveniences when they expect others to push them out of their lives. Over time the person comes to realize you care, are not judging them, and plan to stick around.

To have a friend, essentially it usually is enough to simply be a friend.

9 days ago

It sounds nice on paper, but being a friend just makes people think you're the carpet from Aladdin.

This thread is a touching thread and a good question at that. All what u say and more is exactly what i consider a friend.
 
Post Posted: 9 days ago 
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Great story and I agree with you on the qualities you find endearing regarding true friendship. What you MAY have missed is the fact that sometimes people have shit going on in their lives that they don't feel yet comfortable in speaking with or to you about at the time.

The messiness and petty jealousy of the little faggot you thought was your friend is pure foul and I've been in a similar position myself. It took time for me to better realize how to better recognize and realize a real friend. They don't come too frequently if at all.

I can count the friends I have on one hand and have several fingers left over.

Choose wisely and keep your bidness to yourself except for things that you want them to know. There aint much many folks wouldn't figure out after spending X amount of time with you anyways.
 
Post Posted: 9 days ago 
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Great friends care about your well being, share experiences with you, teach you, learn from you, have trust maintain some semblance of presence.
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Post Posted: 8 days ago 
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10 days ago

Great story and I agree with you on the qualities you find endearing regarding true friendship. What you MAY have missed is the fact that sometimes people have shit going on in their lives that they don't feel yet comfortable in speaking with or to you about at the time.

The messiness and petty jealousy of the little faggot you thought was your friend is pure foul and I've been in a similar position myself. It took time for me to better realize how to better recognize and realize a real friend. They don't come too frequently if at all.

I can count the friends I have on one hand and have several fingers left over.

Choose wisely and keep your bidness to yourself except for things that you want them to know. There aint much many folks wouldn't figure out after spending X amount of time with you anyways.

Ironically, we were both in the gospel choir on campus.

At the end of the semester, his family came to see him. When his mother saw his friends and who he was hanging around..and how he "acted" with them...she told him not to come home.

Who do you think he asked for a place to stay that night?

I did it, for not him...but because it was "right".

He has tried to reach out to me over the years and I have nothing to say to him.

When people show you who they are...believe them, as Ms. Angelou said.

I am patient and can wait for people to be comfortable..but I'm not as naïve as I was.
 
Post Posted: 7 days ago 
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10 days ago

Great story and I agree with you on the qualities you find endearing regarding true friendship. What you MAY have missed is the fact that sometimes people have shit going on in their lives that they don't feel yet comfortable in speaking with or to you about at the time.

The messiness and petty jealousy of the little faggot you thought was your friend is pure foul and I've been in a similar position myself. It took time for me to better realize how to better recognize and realize a real friend. They don't come too frequently if at all.

I can count the friends I have on one hand and have several fingers left over.

Choose wisely and keep your bidness to yourself except for things that you want them to know. There aint much many folks wouldn't figure out after spending X amount of time with you anyways.

8 days ago

Ironically, we were both in the gospel choir on campus.

At the end of the semester, his family came to see him. When his mother saw his friends and who he was hanging around..and how he "acted" with them...she told him not to come home.

Who do you think he asked for a place to stay that night?

I did it, for not him...but because it was "right".

He has tried to reach out to me over the years and I have nothing to say to him.

When people show you who they are...believe them, as Ms. Angelou said.

I am patient and can wait for people to be comfortable..but I'm not as naïve as I was.

Were his "friends" and or hang-out crew being super fruity? Is THAT why his parents told him NOT to come home? That was a cool thing that you did for him letting him live with you for a bit. I'm hoping that he's at least acknowledged what he's done to you and made a sincere apology for acting a cunt! I feel you on how you feel towards him. Him basically losing his family may have really taught him something and the distance between you two may have taught him even more.... I should hope. If his folks are as homophobic as I suspect, I'm hoping that he actually finds some family in others and himself that will be good to him and get him to act and think RIGHT!



 
Post Posted: 7 days ago 
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10 days ago

Great story and I agree with you on the qualities you find endearing regarding true friendship. What you MAY have missed is the fact that sometimes people have shit going on in their lives that they don't feel yet comfortable in speaking with or to you about at the time.

The messiness and petty jealousy of the little faggot you thought was your friend is pure foul and I've been in a similar position myself. It took time for me to better realize how to better recognize and realize a real friend. They don't come too frequently if at all.

I can count the friends I have on one hand and have several fingers left over.

Choose wisely and keep your bidness to yourself except for things that you want them to know. There aint much many folks wouldn't figure out after spending X amount of time with you anyways.

8 days ago

Ironically, we were both in the gospel choir on campus.

At the end of the semester, his family came to see him. When his mother saw his friends and who he was hanging around..and how he "acted" with them...she told him not to come home.

Who do you think he asked for a place to stay that night?

I did it, for not him...but because it was "right".

He has tried to reach out to me over the years and I have nothing to say to him.

When people show you who they are...believe them, as Ms. Angelou said.

I am patient and can wait for people to be comfortable..but I'm not as naïve as I was.

7 days ago

Were his "friends" and or hang-out crew being super fruity? Is THAT why his parents told him NOT to come home? That was a cool thing that you did for him letting him live with you for a bit. I'm hoping that he's at least acknowledged what he's done to you and made a sincere apology for acting a cunt! I feel you on how you feel towards him. Him basically losing his family may have really taught him something and the distance between you two may have taught him even more.... I should hope. If his folks are as homophobic as I suspect, I'm hoping that he actually finds some family in others and himself that will be good to him and get him to act and think RIGHT!

They were the fruitiest.



Yes, his mother was homophobic..and I didn't get it. Her son was obviously flamboyant.

He didn't learn anything, so I refuse to associate with him to this day.

Too busy saving money to save a hoe.
 
Post Posted: 6 days ago 
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10 days ago

Great story and I agree with you on the qualities you find endearing regarding true friendship. What you MAY have missed is the fact that sometimes people have shit going on in their lives that they don't feel yet comfortable in speaking with or to you about at the time.

The messiness and petty jealousy of the little faggot you thought was your friend is pure foul and I've been in a similar position myself. It took time for me to better realize how to better recognize and realize a real friend. They don't come too frequently if at all.

I can count the friends I have on one hand and have several fingers left over.

Choose wisely and keep your bidness to yourself except for things that you want them to know. There aint much many folks wouldn't figure out after spending X amount of time with you anyways.

8 days ago

Ironically, we were both in the gospel choir on campus.

At the end of the semester, his family came to see him. When his mother saw his friends and who he was hanging around..and how he "acted" with them...she told him not to come home.

Who do you think he asked for a place to stay that night?

I did it, for not him...but because it was "right".

He has tried to reach out to me over the years and I have nothing to say to him.

When people show you who they are...believe them, as Ms. Angelou said.

I am patient and can wait for people to be comfortable..but I'm not as naïve as I was.

7 days ago

Were his "friends" and or hang-out crew being super fruity? Is THAT why his parents told him NOT to come home? That was a cool thing that you did for him letting him live with you for a bit. I'm hoping that he's at least acknowledged what he's done to you and made a sincere apology for acting a cunt! I feel you on how you feel towards him. Him basically losing his family may have really taught him something and the distance between you two may have taught him even more.... I should hope. If his folks are as homophobic as I suspect, I'm hoping that he actually finds some family in others and himself that will be good to him and get him to act and think RIGHT!

7 days ago

They were the fruitiest.



Yes, his mother was homophobic..and I didn't get it. Her son was obviously flamboyant.

He didn't learn anything, so I refuse to associate with him to this day.

Too busy saving money to save a hoe.

LMAO@ saving money and not the hoes! I aint mat at cha! I don't blame you for leaving ole boi alone. His ass gotta learn on his own and with other ditching his ass!
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